Piper-Why? I mean after all this time? Why here? Why now?
Victor-Well, I heard the food here is
pretty good, and it is dinner time.
Piper-Does anyone want coffee?
Phoebe-I mean one day, I am a
member of the Y generation, with my average hair and a thing for carbonated beverages. And the next, I'm a witch.
Piper-Dad,
do you take cream or sugar with that?
Phoebe-I just read from the book, and wham, I'm Tabitha.
Piper-Wait, you're blaming Grams for why you diasappeared?? She loved us, she raised us!
We could
have just talked about it like normal people.
Prue-We aren't normal.
Piper- Wait a second. First we had no dad, now we have two?
Piper- At least tell me you've managed to get Prue something other than your traditional birthday gift.
Phoebe-What's
my traditional gift?
Piper-A card, three days late.
Piper-I panic, I put my hands up, and bad things tend to freeze.
Mark-
For how long?
Piper- Not very-let's go.
Piper- I've never seen anyone die before
Prue- Jeremy.
Phoebe- Javna
Piper- I mean human.
Piper-Leave it to me to fall for a dead guy.
Phoebe-It's an improvement,
at least he isn't a warlock.
Piper-Don't touch those!
Piper-Wait! I've got buns in the oven.
Phoebe-You're not kidding.
Piper-You'll never greet your husband at the door with 'Hun, I think I froze the kids again'.
Prue-No,
I just accidentally moved them to another zip code.
Phoebe-But I will see them, find them, and bring them home safely.
Piper to Phoebe-Nice outfit for 9:00 in the morning with no place
to go.
Piper-You were all over him with your breats all...whatever...
Phoebe- I didn't even have breasts
back then
Piper- Phoebe, you've always had breasts.
Piper-Don't say that, the minute someone says that everything goes
south.
Phoebe-Unless you freeze him.
Piper-What the Hell was that?
Phoebe-I think that you just answered your own question.
Piper-No problem for I bare the power of...1.
Piper- That is not a proper chef's uniform
Henry- It will be, I'm a trendsetter.
Piper- Don't worry, I got it. I'm the culinary packidirm
Piper- Sabotage, I'm being sabotaged!
Piper- Somebody just kill me now and spare me the agony of
clean up.
Phoebe-Ask and you shall recieve.
Piper- I'm not talking to that clone.
Piper to Josh-I have to go to work. I will be there all day, and
all night.
Piper- Talk about falling for a guy.
Piper-I thought I'd have to pull a Celine Dion and wear my dress
backwards.
Piper-What am I supposed to say? That I'm a cach-strap, single, resteraunt manager who still lives
in the same house I grew up in with my sisters?
Phoebe-And the cat, you can't forget the cat.
Piper to Joanne-Look, I know I don't have teh flashy job, or the
flashy ring, or the flashy desgner suit, but that doesn't make me any less than you or anybody else. And just because I may
not have relized my dreams yet like you think you have it doesn't mean I won't find a way to do exactly that. And I'm damn
sure I'll be doing it with my own nose, not one some discount doctor gave me!
Piper-So much for being demon free.
Piper-He's fighting through my freezes. He's adjesting or something
Piper-I wonder how I look.
Phoebe- Piper, you look great, but this is hardly the time...
Piper-
Not now, I mean in the future.
Piper-What are we going to do?
Leo-What we always do.
Piper-Talk about it later.
Piper- Don't people normally break out of prison?
Piper-Want to tell me again how screwed we are?
Prue- Very screwed.
Piper- Thanks.
Piper-This guy still hasn't learned his lesson.
Phoebe-Apparently neither have we.
(Leo comes to door)
Piper- Speak of the angel.
Piper (About helping Jenny with her sex project)-Don't worry, I have plenty of experience.
Dan-
With sex?
Piper-No, with talking about it.
Piper (about Phoebe)-She's a walking Einstein with clevage.
Piper-If we get out of here I'll buy Phoebe a pair of shoes.
Prue-And I'll buy her the purse
to match.
Piper (about Leo)-The question is, where is the relationship?
Phoebe-Somewhere between confusing
and complicated.
Piper-I'd rather just freeze him and kick him in the...(door bell rings)
Piper-I wish we could just stick his head in a toilet and make him cough up the demon.
Phoebe-Honey,
are you still upset with Leo?
Piper-I'm talking abotu Carlton.
Phoebe-I can't keep up.
Piper-Looks like you learned something about being a man by being a man.
Piper-This is wrong. He should be battling acne at this age, not evil witches.
Piper-It's over. (Dan looks sad) Not you and me, him and me.
Piper (thinks)-Hey, she's wearing my lipstick.
Prue-What, I can't borrow your lipstick?
Piper- I didn't say that
Prue, I thought it.
Prue (thinks)-Whatever just learn to share.
Piper- I heard that!
Piper (thinks)Yeah, next time just get your own damn lipstick.
Prue (thinks)- I heard that.
Piper (thinks)- I love
you.
Prue (thinks)- Bite me.
Piper to Dan- OK, I know what you are thinking.
Phoebe (thinks)-Piper!
Piper to Dan-I feel I can tell you anything. (closes the door) Except that there's a demon.
Leo-And that you're a witch.
Sorry, that was..
Piper-The truth.
Piper-Dan, why are you at the back door?
Dan-When I knock at the front door I never seem to make it through the treshold.
Piper-I don't even care that it's Friday...
Phoebe-Sh...don't even say it.
Piper-The 13th. See, I said it and nothing
happened.
(Bullets start flying through the window)
Piper-C'mon, we went to Duran Duran together. You stretched out my leg warmers.
Phoebe-And then you gave them to me.
Piper-Oh that's really pathetic, paging yourself.
Dan-Pathetic?
Piper-Oh, I'm sorry. I meant
moronic.
Piper-What is going on?
Phoebe-Hate, and it's gotta stop.
Piper-I remember when Phoebe was a baby and it was hard on mom and with you [Prue] dropping her all the time...
Phoebe-What?
Piper-Wow, you are like Migiver with estrogen.
Piper (about Matthew)-We should be grateful we have a little time off.
Phoebe-Absolutely. (pause) I miss him.
Piper-Then can I go, because no offense but I hate hospitals.
Piper to Dan-And I know that you have been up for almost 24 hours by my side. I can't tell you how much that means to me,
being there for me.
Piper-Why don't they make a card that says 'You used to be my whiteliter and now
your wings are clipped and you're sleeping in my club.'
Phoebe-Or how about 'You snooze you lose and now I'm getting naked
with the neighbor.'
Piper-About tonight...
Dan-Tell me you're kidding. Just tell me you're kidding. Let me guess it's something to do with
your sisters or maybe you will be vague and say something important has come up. Or my favorite of all time, it's a matter
of life or death.
Piper-Actually, what I was going to say, if you'd let me, is that I'm running a little late and could
you wait for me at the bar.
Piper-I don't have a permit for this kind of party.
Piper to Dan-Trust me, you don't need to worry about Leo; he's an angel.
Piper (about Christina)-Is she OK?
Leo (just got punched out)-Yeah, I'm fine thanks for asking.
(Phoebe in the bathroom writing spell)
Piper-Phoebe, you aren't in there writing a spell for me are you?
Piper-Delivery man said he got a sign. Leonardo's beautique in Bodega Bay. Leo short for Leonardo, Bodega Bay, where Dan
is from.
Phoebe-Hmm...
Piper-Don't act blonde. You cast that spell didn't you??
Piper-What would I do without you?
Phoebe-Oh, suffer endlessly
.
Piper-We can find a way to make this work. Somehow, someway.
Leo-I'll hold you that.
Piper-Are you squinting?
Phoebe (Reading BOS)-No...
Piper-I'm only doing this for you guys, and if I die I'm gonna haunt the both of you forever.
Piper-Wanna see what does freeze? (Freezes Cryto)
Piper-I know, I just feel like Dan got the short end of the stick.
Prue-There are so many ways I could go with that,
but I think I'll just...
Piper-Thank you.
Piper-You can do your homework, pick the right resteraunt, the perfect wine, waiting and chilled but
it helps if you show up.
(Accordian player starts playing)
(Piper freezes restaraunt)
Piper-Is this some kind of test?? (Unfreezes Leo)
Piper-Ok,
so, I'd like everything to be normal, but there's only so much a girl can take.
Piper-I just wanted tonight to be perfect.
Leo-Well, it was, I was with you.
Piper-It wasn't much of a date last night, wanna find some seats in the back and makeout before demon
hunting?
Piper-I'm being stalked by a psycho killer and I hide in the shower?!
Piper (Looks at messy attic)-Does anyone else get sick of cleaning up after these
guys?
Piper-It's over.
Phoebe-Don't ever say that. Everytime someone says that in the movies something
always goes (door bell).
(Morris at door)
Piper-Serious face? It's ok, we're too tired for pleasentries.
Piper-You mean go into the movie? Can we even write a spell for that?
Phoebe-I could probably whip up a spell or something.
Prue-Phoebe's
pharmesuticals.
Piper-Ewwww...it tastes like ass...(Billy gives her a look)...phault.
Piper-What if you love them both?
Piper-Who's that?
Phoebe-My dead friend.
Piper-Prue, you don't think Leo lives here, do you?
Prue-Well, I mean, yeah-of course he does. But, I mean it's fine.
As long as you're happy that's all I really care about, not that I was unhappy when I saw Leo all naked in the shower and...wet...
Piper-Phoebe!
Phoebe-Why does everyone always Phoebe me?
Piper to Prue-But you don't need Dick.
Piper-Are you sure you don't remember anything? About witches? Genies? Dick?
Prue-No, but it sounded totally bitchin'.
(Flips through BOS). This is such a cool book. What is it?
Piper-I'll tell you when you're older.
Piper to Leo-Take me to your leader.
Piper-No, I've moved past upset and right to PISSED OFF!
Piper to Phoebe-Sweet dreams, don't kill anyone.
Piper-You saw Dan?
Phoebe-He was your husband. Sorry Leo.
Leo-That's ok. I'm hoping Piper learns from her past mistakes.
(Demon puts spell on audience)
Piper-Well, I'm ok, you're ok. Magic perk.
Demon-Didn't you hear
the management? Please reframe from talking.
