On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on
my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter
special!)
h
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On
some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu
dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks &
Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging
for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)
On
Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction
accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause
drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something
must have gotten lost in the translation...)
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As
opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On
Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions:
open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not
attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing
of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
A repair shop:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE
DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
A Laundromat:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHING WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer
Found on the handel of hammers: Warning: do not hit any solid objects(and here i thought thats what it was ment for)
